“Dismantle your wounds so you stop living your life by them”
Nikki Rowe
(Note: This blog would suck. Cuz I’ve lost it within that me that makes me write. My other blogs are good tho.)
I feel blank right now. I’ve lost my will to write. Or more likely, I feel there is nothing to write about for me. That is scary, very scary. I haven’t felt that before. I generally read over a dozen books a month, I haven’t been able to finish a single book this month tho. I’ve lost all motivation, I’ve lost all desire. You know one of those moments, when all you feel is that you’re a pit? You feel empty. You tell you are lazy, exhausted, that you are tired. You have no interest to do anything. This apparently is a side effect of depression. Alas, depression itself is a side effect of dying. Almost everything is, really. (JG ref#1047939)
Don’t let yourself fall into that trap. You are stronger than that. I’m forcing myself to try and to write. There was a time when my pen would just keep scratching the paper. I would think and feel that much. When I was at class, when I was eating lunch, when I was out shopping. There would always be something for me to write about. There would always be me reading twice as much as I write. And now I’ve gotta force myself to sit down and jot something. Thats how much I’ve lost myself. But its okay. I’m working on myself.
You could too. Make an oath to differ. To cause a change. Make yourself obedient enough to follow it. Discipline your mind. You are lost only to be found again, anew and awesomer. And the only person who can find you back is you. Don’t give up on the things you love doing. Don’t give up on yourself, ever. I love you, this blog sucks compared to the previous ones but whatever. (Please do take a minute to scroll down and read tho) I’m not giving up. I wrote that. I can still write that. Or better. All we need is ourselves; we’ll be okay:)
P.S. Rereading this, I realize how much a shitty writer I’ve become but I’m feeling so much better after taking effort to write this down.
Mystery, is all. 